(aren't little kids so cute? ;D)
so let me just get this straight first: i do not believe that there is a god. if there was a god for every religion there is on earth, then no one will end up in heaven, because nobody believes in that many gods. unless you're like, buddhist or something, then you're free to practice any religion as well as buddhism. this alone makes me dubious about the presence of a god. i mean, if there was just one god up there, then his love should be unconditional. so no matter if you believe in him or not, he will still love you. otherwise, that's not unconditional.
okay, now i know i've never been a science nerd or whatever, but i'm incredibly into astronomy
and paleontology and the origin of life on earth. and because i'm so into these, i find it very hard to put aside my beliefs in science for religion, as i brought up mainly-atheist-half-buddhist-but-not-really. this is where my beliefs clash a little - i love fantasy. the possibility that magic exists like in harry potter or wheel of time are just so interesting for me. so i read books and i daydream and everything. but in the real world, i like everything i believe in to have the so called 'proof'. and anything which can't bring that substantial proof, i can't bring myself to believe it.
quoted from the glee episode:
mercedes:
but kurt, how do you know for sure? you can't prove that there is no god.kurt:
you can't prove that isn't a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs, but it seems pretty unlikely, doesn't it?
i guess i vaguely agree with this. i guess what i'm really saying is i'll believe god when i know for sure that there is one.
sometimes, i do envy people who are religious and believe in a god. they always have that comfort, you know? like 'knowing' that god is there. whereas me, i don't have that comfort. i know that there isn't really anyone who will help me when i screw things up big time, or to say 'i forgive you' and things. and i feel sad sometimes because i'm the one who is denying myself this
but no matter what i believe or don't believe, the one thing i am happy about religion is that it can bring out the best in people. like all of the girls who are in iscf at school. you're all so amazingly wonderful and nice. i mean, look at all the people who've turned to god because someone's kindness gave them another chance at life? and while religion doesn't make exceptions for some mattes, for other matters it is extremely tolerant and forgiving. and i guess it's just because i spent most of that episode crying which made me want to write this. i apologise to people who believe in god. to each their own.
Labels: rants and shit.
