i don't know how many of you guys are sick of me talking about this by now, but i can bet it's more than 90% of you. and i apologise, sorry guys. but you know what?
i think i've just realised why it sucks so freaking much to fall in love with someone at our age. because it hurts. it really does. and i'm not trying to be melodramatic here. you know why? because nothing is certain. you have no idea what you're going to do beyond the next two weeks. sure, you get some people who have dead set goals and kill themselves trying to reach them, but in the end, they still have no idea if they are every going to reach those goals. you have no idea if the person you fall in love with will be in your life in the future. and right now, you physically can't picture your future without them in it. even considering that possibility will send you off the edge.
sometimes, they can't be there when you really honest to god just need them to be. sure, everyone says things like 'if he truly loved you, he'd drop everything to be with you at any second'. but we're teenagers. we live with our parents who set the ground rules. no one can actually do that unless they live by themselves and only answer to themselves. sometimes, you don't even see them for a week. an entire week. i don't know about you guys, but i have trouble lasting three days. and all the days in between when they're not there, when they can't help you, when they don't know if you've cried or not (and you don't tell them, because you don't want to seem like you want attention) just hurts so bad.
then we have to deal with adults who roll their eyes and tell us just because we're teenagers, we don't really know what love feels like. and we have to sit through them lecturing us about how we have our entire life ahead of us, filled with new people, and don't pick until you're sure you got the best fish in the sea. but see, what about everyone who's in love? how can everyone get the best fish in the sea? it's not possible. telling us to not take it too seriously because chances are, you won't last past six months.
and then there's the possibility that the person who your entire life has been orbiting around doesn't hold you in the same place. oh wait, not even going to consider that idea. and i think i'll just shut up before i make another mess in my room from driving myself crazy thinking about this stuff...
Labels: rants and shit.
